The Lady, Her Lover and Her Lord

This is an excerpt of a book that saved my life, and I mean that. I some how got this book, and I can't tell you how...because I don't know. I think someone I worked with gave it to me, but I just don't know. I read it 7 years ago:

The real challenge that we all have is to find a place of balance between martyrdom and narcissism. The art of avoiding extremes is an art that is drawn on the canvas of maturity and painted with the abstract strokes of many experiences. The balance is as vital to you as it is to a high-flying trapeze act. We need not become self-consumed, but please realize that there must be something between selfishness and self-denial. This is not the blaring clarion call to become self-centered and egotistic. But it is a cry to balance the heart of women who have allowed everyone's plight to become more important than their own. It is a cry to recognize your strengths before you become lost in a perpetual state of being a cheerleader for someone else and never yourself.
This is not just a feminine problem. It is actually a human problem. Yet the maternal instinct in women increases their susceptibility to it. Maternal instincts are great on a child, but don't try them on a man. They are dangerous when coupled with the societal bias that tends to usher women into roles of subservient behavior. It makes the lady a prime candidate to become a martyr for any cause but her own. When this happens, the milk of compassion in a woman often hardens in the breast and causes the heart to ache. There was nothing wrong with the milk. It was just invested into something or someone that was not worthy. There is nothing worse than giving the right thing to the wrong person.
Many women find it difficult to appreciate themselves because society puts pressure on them to be completely selfless; any attempt at self-nurturing and self-love is condemned, eliciting accusations of being selfish and narcissistic, of not being an adequate wife, mother, or even an adequate woman. No woman wants these labels and so many comply--giving, giving, giving--never appreciating themselves. Never realizing that in order to truly give you must appreciate the gifts you possess. Sadly, some women's lives become as futile as a child's attempt to capture the entire ocean in his sand bucket. No matter how committed he is to his task, no effort is ever enough.

READ MORE AT:
http://www.nytimes.com/books/first/j/jakes-lady.html
The Lady, Her Lover, and Her Lord, by TD Jakes