Blenders, fuzzy slippers and knifes

To my girls that are dating or starting to get married... I have one word of advice. Stay away from the gun! OY!!!! Yep that's right girl, you don't have the ring on that finger yet so stay away from Macy's and Pottery Barn. Not sure if I am the only one that has ever heard of this but it's a jinx. Bad bad bad kismet!
I know it's tempting girls. You see all the blushing brides with their new shiny rings... they are holding the gun in one hand...the groom's shirt in the other, and swiping that little red scan bar reader at anything that doesn't move.
Trust me, when you get home you will not only feel exhausted, but left with that empty lonely feeling. It's hard right now, your arms are empty and you are waiting for that perfect moment that your life will change forever. Don't do it to yourself.... don't go into that store.
I remember when Ricardo and I first started talking about marriage (we knew each other about a month), I went nuts looking at engagement rings. Only, time ticked by...ticked by...ticked by. NOTHING.
Those who know us, know I mean YEARS! I was so tempted to run to the store, register and start beeping those blenders and knife sets! DAMN those girls with their stupid register guns!!! As you can tell I am a little passionate about this one. One day, I went into Bed Bath and Beyond. I sat down at the registration table to fill out the paper work. It asked for the wedding date. I thought, what do I put??? I panicked, jumped up and asked where the bathroom was. I stayed in there praying no one saw me sitting at the desk. When I got home I felt even more depressed...more upset...more let down... and more disappointed. It wasn't Ricardo's fault. I knew we both agreed to wait till he was out of college. It is that ticking time bomb that just tick tick ticks in your head. It's like the perfect timeline of your life is slipping away. I was going to be married BY 24, kid number one by 26 and kid number two at 30, then maybe kid number 3 at 34. I have never drank alone till the day I came home from the store. Then boy did I do some drinking!!!! Something so stupid as a registry for a wedding that I wasn't even 100% sure would come, was causing me to hate myself.
NO no no, I am not kidding...I am not fibbing... this is a little known fact about me of 2001 (well Jamie knew)! Everyone around me was getting married and having babies. I always got reminded that I was the "oldest" girl in our family not married. Most eveyone was married between 19-22. Heck, Jamie my youngest friend, was getting married before me!
Here is the funny thing, When Ricardo did finally ask me to marry him (just a few months after the BB&B incident)... I didn't want to go. We kept getting asked where we were registered and I would cringe.
What if I don't get my blender or knives and I end up with some fuzzy slippers that I accidental shot with the gun! This was way too much pressure! hahaah!
Then D-day came, my chance with the gun. SO NAH NAH NAH BOO BOO! I am telling you, the wait is worth the torture. I walked up and down those isles swiping everything. I think I even swiped Rick for giggles. I think knowing it was for really real made it that much better.

People see the next step...then the next step. It's like you start dating, then it's the list of firsts together.... then the questions "when are you getting married"...then "where are the kids". We can't just wade in the moment. Remember the "Lazy River" that used to flow around Water World? Okay, I am old, I remember it. Well that was actually one of my favorite things. Just get on an inter-tube and float around where the man made current took you. Why then was I so hung up on this darn red scanning gun!!!!

When we got back, Rick's mom and sister asked us... why did you guys register for this and why in the world only ___ number of settings. I kind of laughed inside. Part of it was the fear of running into the original wedding register lady, and the other was sheer giddiness! I just caved under the pressure,saw shinny things, and beeped it into my list. I knew what it was like standing at the check out, and having someone ask "is this part of a registry?"...or "are you buying this off a register?" I always felt like shouting "NO EVERYONE, I AM STILL SINGLE... NOTE THE 4 CUP COFFEE MAKER I AM BUYING". Okay so I had a little drama queen cereal for breakfast. I was beyond excited to finally be the girl with the gun.
So new house, new hubby or new baby... just enjoy your time on the lazy river. Before you know it you will be on the Texas Cyclone in no time, wondering when in the hell you can get off!